Monday, November 7, 2011

A Conglomeration of Semi-Related Thoughts

I had to laugh a last week.  I came to work, walked to our back refrigerator, was about to deposit my lunch when - WHAT?  Someone put their lunch in MY SPOT!  I had a moment of annoyed frustration.  Then there was a little recording that played in the back of my mind of ME telling my little Sunday school children, "No, that is not YOUR chair.  You do not own it.  Anyone can sit there.  You just need to find another seat."  Ha.  I need to learn my own lesson.  What is it about us humans?  Do we ever really learn our own lessons?  We do get rather possessive of OUR things. . .parking spots, church pews, lunch bag spots. . .   :)  But are they really OURS?  No.  Why do we get so upset?  Don't we know better?

I am sitting here thinking. . .I wonder if such a company is hiring?  You see, a little bit ago I was talking to an authority of mine about some of the situations I have to deal with . . .they asked me to please stay where I am even though it is frustrating.  There is really nothing that either one of us can do about the situation.  Anyway, since that individual said that to me, I have been doing just the opposite - thinking of places where maybe I could get a job that would allow me to push myself and really DO something. Do I need a new job?  No.  Maybe there are things about my job that I don't like (as if a perfect job with no snags exists), but Who was it who placed me here?  Wasn't it the Lord Who helped me get here?  Didn't He put me here for a reason - whether or not I know what the reason is?  So, despite all of my reasoning, I do a job search and see something interesting. As I am about to click, a little voice (a.k.a the Holy Spirit - the part of the Godhead Who lives inside of me and guides me) says, "Don't do it.  You are exactly where I want you.  Be still and know that I am God."  As much as I love that verse about being still and knowing that God is God, I have a really hard time with it.  I don't like to be still. . .I like to have goals and plans.  I like to know where I am going and at what time I am going to be there.  I love that God has a plan for my life, but I don't really like to be still.  What a human I am.  But what a good God He is.  I tell myself to "Be still" again.  And again.  And again.  I'm about as good at being still and knowing that God is in control as my dog is at sitting when I tell her to - which is definitely not a strong point of hers. . .

I have a recent pet peeve. . .maybe not recent, but it has been raring its ugly head in my life recently.  I hate it when other people don't want to help others by spreading information.  I hate it when they are stopping progress because they insist on tradition (let me say, I understand and agree with some tradition, but there are times. . .when we need to let go a little).  So this morning, my mom sent out an e-mail with a word of the week and a thought of the day.  It went like this:

"obscurantism \uhb-SKYOORr-uhn-tiz-uhm\,noun:
1. Opposition to the increase and spread of knowledge.
2. Deliberate obscurity or evasion of clarity.
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.  ~Thomas à Kempis"

As I read the first part of the e-mail, I thought, "Yes.  This is what I hate.  I could apply that definition to too many people in my life right now!"  Then I read the quote.  Point taken.

Do I feel like a heathen right now?  Maybe.  Am I being too transparent?  Maybe.

I guess this is my way of swallowing my pride and admitting that I am not as perfect as I think I am. :)

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